Specter
by LoVe BB 116
Summary: This takes place after series ends and pretending the comics don't exist. Buffy doesn't know Spike is alive. Spike hasn't told her and is gearing up for smackdown w/Wolfram and Hart. Buffy is currently being haunted by the same dream each night.
1. Prologue

First fanfic please play nice.

I don't own any characters in the Buffyverse for entertainment purposes only. I mostly enjoy reading fanfic. I'd like to be a beta reader but to do so I must publish work.

Please review and constructive criticism is welcome. Just know that I cry at the drop a hat. ;-)

A/U(ish):This takes place after series ends and pretending the comics don't exist.

**Prologue**

It's three in the morning and Buffy is lying awake again. This is the third night in a row where she has woken up in a cold sweat screaming, "I'M COOKIES!"

She lay there silently cursing the fact that she yelled out in her sleep again. She cringed at thinking someone might have heard her. She grew more annoyed as she realized she had been thrust awake by the same stupid dream and was now forced to try and get back to sleep while it played fresh in her mind.

It was the same each night. She would open the front door (to her now obliterated) house in Sunnydale and she would walk into her living room. It would seem completely normal but then she would smell hot cocoa.

Realizing she was actually quite cold, she would walk eagerly to the kitchen. Each time she reached the kitchen, what she saw would make her get the feeling that she had just been kicked in the stomach. Sitting at her table would be her mother and Spike laughing, chatting and enjoying their cocoa.

Joyce would look up and smile and Spike would say, "Hullo pet." Each night Buffy was able to speak to her mother, saying the same thing each time, "I love you so much and I miss you." But every time she went to open her mouth to tell Spike anything Angel would come bursting through the kitchen's back door. Joyce would vanish from the table and "SPIKE!" would bellow throughout the kitchen. Angel would grab Spike by the collar and say, "You shouldn't be here. She said she needed time. Besides we have other things to take care of. Things that while aren't as beautiful, are more important than Buffy right now."

Spike would swing his hand at Angel and grumble, "Soddin' hands off me, Forehead." Then he would turn to look at her with those blue eyes and say, "I'll always be with you love." And every time she would run to grab him but they would always disappear before she could reach them. Then she would be left standing in the now abandoned kitchen. She stands there frozen. The only thing she is ever able to do is whisper, "I'm cookies." Then in an instant she would be racing towards the front door frantically yelling, "No! Wait! I'm cookies!"


	2. Chapter 1

Again, I own nothing in the Buffyverse and this is for entertainment purposes only.

_Italics will indicate inner thoughts. _

Thank you to tonymarsh84 and LexidaLou for your reviews. They were much appreciated. Thank you to those who put me on story alert and favorite stories. You guys made my day.

Before she knew it, it was light out and the sun was shining through her window. She wasn't quite sure when she had fallen back to sleep but she was grateful she had. Glancing at the clock, Buffy realized she had woken up thirty minutes earlier than planned. _Why am I awake? If it isn't one thing it is the next. Can't a slayer just catch a break and get some shut eye? Ugh. _She lie there for a moment trying to figure out. Before she knew it she was sniffing the air. _What the hell, _she thought, _…cookies. _She jumped out of bed and sprinted to the kitchen. She stopped before entering feeling a knot in her stomach. She inhaled a breath and stepped in.

She was greeted by a cheery red head in an apron. "Hey Buffy."

"Hey Will." Buffy answered somberly.

"Buffy, what's wrong?" Her smile vanishing.

"What? Oh, nothing. I just…thought… well I'm not sure what I thought. Hey isn't it a little early for dessert?" forcing a smile on her face.

"Oh okay. Yeah it is but I figured what the hay. Besides I figured you wanted them since you know, you've kinda been screaming about them for the past few days."

"Yeah… about that…sorry. I keep having this dream, where, uh, this giant chocolate chip is after me."

"What do you think it means?"

"Not much, just that a giant chocolate chip has it out for me."

Willow smiled, turned off the oven and took off her apron. "I have to go meet Kennedy. I'll see you for dinner?"

"Yeah, tell her I said hey."

"Will do. Bye Buff."

Buffy sat down at the table before realizing she was alone in the kitchen, a plate of cookies staring back at her. She jumped up and grabbed a towel from the sink. She walked over to the plate and covered the cookies and walked out grumbling, "Stupid cookies."

In LA,

"I'll bloody well do what I please."

"Spike, you can't. If we're taking on the senior partners I don't want her anywhere near here."

"Sod off Peaches, I don't either. Stupid git, that's why I want to go to her."

"So what Spike? You can tell her, 'Hey, I'm alive but I gotta go. I have a suicide mission I'm going to be late to?' "

"No nancy boy, I'd just like to see her. I won't even talk to her. I just have to see that she is doing alright. Didn't figure you as the jealous type," he scoffs.

"Listen Captain Peroxide, I have nothing to be jealous of and you don't think she'll notice someone following her? Besides, she has been through enough. Let her have some peace."

"Ah bugger!" Spike growled and with a quick turn on the heel, the black duster was exiting the room. Angel stood thinking, _I'm doing the right thing. No need for her to get involved. And Spike gets that. Even if he doesn't want to admit it…at least I hope._


	3. Chapter 2

**S**pike had decided even as Angel was giving him a lecture that he was going to see her. Nothing was going to stop him even if he had to take on the senior partners right now just to see her. He would do it without hesitation. So there was really no question of if he was going to. It was just more of a how he was going to get there without Peaches getting in the way. _Stupid git. Don't give a damn 'bout Buffy it's just about the competition with him. Just don't want me to have one over on him. Soddin' poofter. _

Spike flung open the exit of the Hyperion and made his way to the direction of the train station. He stopped suddenly. _Once the poofter realizes I'm gone first place he'll go will be there. Damn. _He smirked and kept walking. Once he got there he walked up to the booth and said, " One ticket to Cleveland please."

"Okay your train leaves at 10:30."

"Thanks love."

Buffy inhaled the cold dew as she took off for her morning jog. She wasn't a big fan of Scotland but she did like the crisp feeling in the morning. She couldn't help but think about her dream. Her morning jog had become somewhat therapeutic. Just like slaying is. Well when she slays alone. _Ha, you have to love the irony. There are over a thousand slayers and I still feel different, still alone. I guess that's the price for being the chosen one. I wonder if Faith ever feels like this. Ugh. Faith. So don't need to think about her. _

Buffy switched her thoughts back to the dream that had been on repeat in her head even as she was thinking about Faith. It just played in the background, almost like being in a room with the television set on even though you aren't watching it. Buffy came to the same spot she considered her favorite part of the jog. It was a beat up path that looked like it was dangerous to jog on let alone jog alone in. The appeal was too much for Buffy that she had to take it the first time she had seen it. Since then it had become her path.

Buffy found herself humming the same song she had been singing since she started jogging on that path. _I've been going through the motions. Walking through the part, nothing seems to penetrate my heart._ And each time she would scold herself. _ No. Bad Buffy. Stupid song. Stupid Xander. Stupid singing demon trying to make me burn myself up. Good thing Spike was around…Spike. "Life's not a song. Life isn't bliss. Life is just this. It's living. You'll get along. The pain that you feel, you can only heal by living. You have to go on living. So one of us is living."_ _He was the only one who ever stuck around even when I didn't want him too. God there was so many times I tried to get him to leave._ One that stuck out in her brain though. She remembered laying there on that stranger's bed after she was kicked out of here own house by her friends and telling him. "Please leave." And him just saying, "Uh no."

She smiled. Feeling a tugging at her heart. She wanted to pretend it was because she was getting tired from the job but she knew exactly what it was. _And then he made that beautiful speech. And the only reason he finally left my side is because he died. He died like the champion he was. The man I knew he could be. Damn now I want to cry. And my brain hurts and my emotions are all mixy. _

Buffy just shook off the feelings as she came off the path and back up to the castle that had become the slayers training facility. _Alright Buffy game face. _Immediately Buffy was greeted to Xander running up to her saying, "You gotta make 'em stop Buff. They're driving me insane. I might poke out the one eye I have left." She was about to ask who but then she saw. Dawn and her "boyfriend". None of the Scoobies were fond of him but they all agreed it would be better to keep him around so they could keep an eye on him. What Buffy saw though made her want to poke out her eyes as well. They were in the middle of a full blown make-out session.

"DAWNIE!" Buffy yelled. Hoping her sister would come up for air. Luckily she did. Dawn frowned and said, "Oh hey Buffy. How you doing this morning? You get a good night's sleep?" _Lie Buffy. Lie. Best option._ "Yeah I did. How about you?" Dawn glared. _Uh oh Buffy wrong choice. _Before she could open her mouth Dawn sneered and said, "Me? Not so much. Somebody woke me up in the middle of the night. AGAIN. Screaming about cookies." Buffy blushed and Xander looked between the sisters clearly confused. "What's up Buff you got the midnight munchies in dreamland?" Xander asked.

"Nope just having the same dream where a chocolate chip has it out for me." _Another lie Buffy. Seriously? These are your friends just tell them you miss him. Oh wait this is your friends Buffy. Don't tell them. They won't understand. Well Willow might and maybe Dawn but no way Xander will. _

"You think they mean something?"_ Yes._

"A dream about a giant chocolate chip Xander? Really?" _It's more than a chocolate chip. Sigh._

"Stranger things have happened Buffy."_ Ain't that the truth._

"Yeah I know. I just don't think it is anything we need to worry about." _And yet I am. Why now after all this time? Maybe these dreams really do mean something. He's dead. So maybe not. Well I mean I guess as long as I've known him he has always been dead. That's not the point though. He's gone. I need to accept that. I thought I did. Stupid heart telling me one thing and stupid head telling me another._


	4. Chapter 3

I don't own any characters in the Buffyverse for entertainment purposes only. I mostly enjoy reading fanfic. I'd like to be a beta reader but to do so I must publish work. _Italics will indicate inner thoughts._

Thank you guys so much for sticking with the story even though I haven't been able to dedicate nearly as much time as I want to on it. I'm giving you this small chapter just to try and pacify some of my guilt. I know it's sooo short and I'm sooo sorry. School just started back up but I am settling into the routine now so I have time again. I plan on giving you guys a super long one after this and hopefully after that. Shout out to mikka18, marilynevelyn, tonymarsh84, Jennifer-Squint By Nature, LexidaLou for reviewing they are much appreciated. And to anyone else who put me on added thanks :-D You guys rock. I'm gonna get cracking on the story and I hope you guys stick along for the ride.

**A**ngel sat in his office at Wolfram Hart thinking about Spike and Buffy. It bothered him that Spike wanted to go see her. If he was honest with himself it was because he was jealous. A little worried too that he had been replaced. HE was supposed to be the only vampire with a soul. _I mean sure mine is technically a curse and I didn't earn it like Spike did…but still I had it first. I loved her first and I have been atoning for my past longer than he has. Buffy and I haven't been in each other's lives for a while now. Maybe the time apart really doomed us. No. It didn't. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Buffy knows that. She knows I left to protect her. I still love her. I know she still loves me. What we have is forever. Hell, what did she say? He's in her heart? So what? That is not the same as saying I love Spike. _He smiled as he thought _She's never told Spike I love you. Ha. I can throw that in his face when he gets back. Probably won't be a while. I did piss him off. _Angel felt a little relieved after he calmed himself. _I may not hate him as much as I did before (_he shuddered a little at this) _but that doesn't mean I want him ruining Buffy's life. He is toxic. She doesn't need him around. He's being selfish. He always has been. How can he not see that no good can come from him seeing her? I made the ultimate sacrifice and I'll be damned if Captain Peroxide goes and causes her pain just so he can get some kind of satisfaction. We have things to do. We're about to enter the fight of our lives. One thing we can both agree on is that this is a fight she shouldn't be anywhere near. Now if he can just stick to the plan then…Spike…stick to plan…Spike…plan. "SHIT." He said quietly as he rose from his desk. "Spike!" he yelled and he ran out the door._

Buffy had made a quick exit and left Dawn and Xander. She headed over to train some of the other slayers. She started sparring with one of them. She couldn't remember what her name was Anne? Amy? It didn't matter she was lost in her own thought. _They're getting stronger. I'm still way out of their league though. Sigh. I wonder if it will always be like this. Will anyone ever be better than me? Well there is Faith. Ew. Faith. Faith would give me a good fight but if it came down to it I could take her down easily…or maybe hard. Depends on how much she pisses me off. Faith isn't my equal. Maybe once a long time ago for a little while but not now. When was the last time I had a fight that I felt truly challenged? God I can't remember the last time I ever had an equal fight. Oh. I remember. Only time I ever fought someone that was as strong and quick was what felt like a lifetime ago. It practically was. But it wasn't just a fight, was it? No it was… a dance. Ugh. Oops. Hit Angie a little too hard on that one. Oh no she's up she's okay. Good. _"Sorry." _Nice Buffy. A dance. God I miss that. Go figure. I guess you really don't appreciate a good thing until it is gone. Stupid saying. Stupid death. What is with this stupid day? First I'm being haunted by stupid cookies and hot vampires when I sleep and now I can't even get through my day with out thinking about our dance. He's so stupid. The way he died. I just always thought that we would kill each other. If we didn't then he was supposed to die like a true warrior and die in a fight. No instead he has to be all noble and sacrifice himself. Stupid vampire with stupid bleached hair. I mean they did make his eyes all bright blue and his cheekbones-"_Buffy?"

"Wuh, huh?" Buffy snapped out of it and realized she was standing over the young slayer and was standing above her. The other slayers just stood around staring. "What?" Buffy asked again slightly confused.

"You uh, where sparring with Anna _(damn that's her name Anna. Anna. Her name is Anna.) _then you took her down and started talking about bright blue eyes and cheekbones? Are you alright?"

_DAMN. Stupid mouth. _Buffy could feel her face getting red. _Shit. Lie. God I hate lies. I wonder how many I have to tell just to get through the day. Hmm. It would probably make a hell of a drinking game. Too bad I don't drink. Beer and Buffy no mixy. Ugh Focus! _

"I'm fine. Got lost in Buffyland, that's all. Anna why don't you go ahead and spar with Jennifer instead? When you guys are done you can all head out. We can end early today." Some girls groaned while others cheered. Buffy just caught what Anna was saying as she walked out. "I don't think Buffy likes me very much." Buffy sighed. She needed to hit something. _No more hitting baby slayers. Bring on the baddies. _She headed towards the cemetery.

Spike sat staring out the window and couldn't help but snicker. _Lost me coat. 'S worth it tho. Great poofter will appreciate it. No actually, he probably won't but it would be funny to watch the nancy boy's face. He can sod off. Tryin' to tell me what's best. Almost there. I can't breathe. Well I mean I don't need to but yeah. I feel like I'm suffocating. Sad really how the slayer gets me all twisted. Sometimes it is hard being love's bitch. And I have no plans on getting potted by the goldilocks. She sees me and it is slay first and ask questions later. Don't fancy bein' dusted 'fo I can get my jollies off in the big fight. Plus I don't want Forehead dying on me. Fancy dusting him myself one day. _Spike smiled at the thought. Finally the images in the window became clear instead of blurring past him and they came to a stop.

_I'm here pet._


End file.
